Question:
When I was first diagnosed, I was sitting on the doctor’s table for my annual physical. His nurse had stuck my finger, as she always does. He came in, looked at the chart, looked up at me and said, "your blood glucose level is 250. You’re diabetic." He went on from there, prescribed a pill and told me it was basically all up to me, said something about exercising a lot. I don’t know what he said, exactly. I was completely in shock. Ya know, this really pisses me off. How dare a doc do this. Wonder if this is a result of the increase in Type 2s. Do they really think they don’t have to offer support or education. Seems there are many on here that had similar experiences.
As far as doctors offering support, good luck. Don’t hold your breath. I’m a social worker with alot of experience working in a hospital…..generally when a patient needs ’support’ or a doctor has a patient with some emotional problem, he picks up that trusty phone and beeps me. It scares the shit out of them and they (in general) don’t want to be bothered. As far as education goes, I saw the same thing happen with my dad. I think his GP diagnosed him with T2 diabetes. They gave him a meter and a bottle of Glipizide and sent him on his merry way. No referrals for education classes or anything. He died last year of asthma with possible diabetic complications only a few years after dx. To be fair, with younger doctors, alot more is being done to educate THEM about bedside manners and dealing with the patient’s psycho/social problems. I know because I’ve taught a few classes for medical students in dealing with patient’s ‘other’ problems that could be influencing medical treatment. So hopefully, I think the tide is turning with younger doctors and we’ll be seeing alot of more emphasis on education and treating the patient’s "whole" person……medical, social and psychological problems. Beanie Type 1 Diag 10/98 (Humulin H and NPH)
Response:
I have to eat up to 30 mgs of carbs for my afternoon snack,(my dietitian told me to<G) or I will read 60 before dinner. Jacquie – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – bGs went very low when I made the initial change in diet, and then went up rather high again. Particularly I get rather large peaks at the before dinner measurement. I haven’t sussed this out yet. Try a mid-afternoon snack, about 15 gm of carbohydrate. At diabetes education they told us not to go more than 3-5 hours without a snack. What often happens is you go low and the liver dumps it’s glucose reserve into the body, raising levels – which is what you see before dinner… With me, it happens about 90, with warning signs of a queasy stomach and often getting a clammy feeling. I also get sleepy, but that also happens about 150 and so it is not as good a sign. —–Burton No time spent with a Cat in your lap is ever truly wasted! Remove the anti-spam cat to e-mail me…
Response:
I have to eat up to 30 mgs of carbs for my afternoon snack,(my dietitian told me to<G) or I will read 60 before dinner.
Yup – people vary. My afternoon pattern is a snack after about 4 hours, but then I burn through that quickly and need another an hour to an hour and a half later… You have to find your pattern and work with it… —–Burton No time spent with a Cat in your lap is ever truly wasted! Remove the anti-spam cat to e-mail me…
Response:
bGs went very low when I made the initial change in diet, and then went up rather high again. Particularly I get rather large peaks at the before dinner measurement. I haven’t sussed this out yet.
Try a mid-afternoon snack, about 15 gm of carbohydrate. At diabetes education they told us not to go more than 3-5 hours without a snack. What often happens is you go low and the liver dumps it’s glucose reserve into the body, raising levels – which is what you see before dinner… With me, it happens about 90, with warning signs of a queasy stomach and often getting a clammy feeling. I also get sleepy, but that also happens about 150 and so it is not as good a sign. —–Burton No time spent with a Cat in your lap is ever truly wasted! Remove the anti-spam cat to e-mail me…
Response:
In the last five weeks I have been setting out to change my diet, to learn as much as possible, and to get control. To such an extent that the GP was irritated when I bought a meter and went to tell him I wanted a prescription for the little strips! He likes to be in control and to decide when the patient should go on a meter. Tough – I plan to take control of this situation myself. So I have bought an exercise cycle and some cookbooks and am learning a whole new world of cooking.
Good for you! That is precisely the approach you need to take. I, too, had to confront my Dr and demand a prescription for a meter and strips — and I sat with him and told him "you have given me a life threatening diagnosis — I am going to take care of it — and you are going to help, or I will find another doctor!" Amazing change of attitude. I did my part, of course – diet, exercise, medication, testing every day, etc. — now I am medicine free and control with diet and exercise, something he didn’t think I could do ("most people don’t do it – especially men" was his intitial comment when I chewed him out). He says I attacked it more agressively than any patient he has had. You can do it. Educate yourself. This ng can help tremendously! Do what is required – really do it, not just lip service or do it partially. It can only help. You’ll feel better and you just might – probably will – get it under control! But insist your doctor help also, or get another. Good luck. Bill
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And with all of it, I think that’s what makes me the most angry; I want to know what totally screwed up my immune system.
Take heed, my answer is somewhat of a phylosophical nature. Let me at first tell you that in my work I come into contact with many people that are more or less severely ill for a prolonged period of time. A lot of them do have the same question: Why me? There’s no real answer, I think. Some people are born more lucky than others. We do however perform a show for everybody about healthy, happy people, where nothing can go wrong. Look at our educational system. It does not teach us how to deal with life events. Look at the perfect picture in the advertisements, and in the glossy magazines. The odd sob story that is depicted in it, is no more than that. It is a life far from our own. Until we are struck by lightning ourself. Our world is shattered, and we have to pick up the broken pieces, and try to make something out of it again. That’s far from easy, and again some are better at it than others. But it certainly takes time, much time, to adjust to the new situation. Now for something less phylosophical. Lately there is some evidence that our own achieved hygiene may play a role in immune related diseases. Nowadays one can find for instance much more asthma in children than there was in the past. It is thought that in our hygienic way of life we do come far less often into contact with, in the evolutionary sense, "old" micro organisms. Our immune system however expects these micro organisms to try to enter our body, and to react to that. The part that plays a role in the immune system that interacts with these "old" micro organisms is the cellular immune reaction. As this part is now less developed than it used to be in less hygienic envronments, the balance of the immune system is shifted, and allergic reactions develop far more easily. Allergic reactions are also cellular in type, but of a different expression. And in that way it is supposed that also autoimmune reactions may play a more significant role in our spectrum of diseases than it did in the past. So do have your granddaughter play in the mud. She will get ill doing so, but it will be the right disease
) [Ehrm, a less dangerous way of stirring up our immune system in the right way is sought after]. Happy New Year.
Have a happy, and most important, healthy 1999 as well. —
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BTW, a report here in the USA reported that Americans are eating significantly more vegetables than they did ten years ago (I’ll try to find the cite). Unfortunately, almost all of the increase is deep-fried, especially potatos (french fries), or cooked in fat (potato chips). Would not know Jude, I do know I am eating significantly more veggies and significantly LESS fried food Darling Classical Musical Flutist Daughter is vegetarian and working on vegan "Nothing adds excitement like something that is none of your business" Using a Java script enabled browser go to: http://go.compuserve.com/diabetes Anyone can read, Members can post, If you join Compuserve mention 73455,43 What do you do when CPR fails?……BARIUM Net-Tamer V 1.08X – Registered
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Jennifer I was diagnosed about six weeks ago at the age of 61. Prior to this I had had quite a few problems including a tendency to fly off the handle and scream at the cats, who then went and peed on my wife’s bed, which reinforced the scream cycle! I was actually quite worried about the constant dry mouth, dysfunctional genitals, and so on. So I have to say that I was pleased to have a diagnosis. I don’t think the medical people around here are much use, but it may be that it’s just the holiday season. My doubt in my GP is derived mostly from the fact that I was presenting classic symptoms of DM and he did not spot the problem although Julie (my wife) did. Also he told me that I was allowed one piece of fruit a day, which is a lot of bollocks! In the last five weeks I have been setting out to change my diet, to learn as much as possible, and to get control. To such an extent that the GP was irritated when I bought a meter and went to tell him I wanted a prescription for the little strips! He likes to be in control and to decide when the patient should go on a meter. Tough – I plan to take control of this situation myself. So I have bought an exercise cycle and some cookbooks and am learning a whole new world of cooking. bGs went very low when I made the initial change in diet, and then went up rather high again. Particularly I get rather large peaks at the before dinner measurement. I haven’t sussed this out yet. I am not impressed by low carbohydrate diet theories as it seems to me that one inevitably has to eat a high fat diet. But I have learned about the Glycaemic Index and am studying this at the moment. This evening I had a peak, and rather than not eating made a meal of pulses and wholemeal pasta. A few hours later the peak was away down, though I still feel hungry. In summary, finding out what was wrong has made me motivated to do something about it! I find it rather surprising that people talk of healthy people by comparison with diabetics. I’m afraid I still consider myself to be healthy! My weight is even showing signs of beginning to come down, though I’ll believe that when I see it! Robert Wendy started a thread a few days ago called "out of control", which had questions in it pertaining to Type 1’s…does the pump help (bad) control or MDI, etc (I don’t remember all the specifics she brought up). Here’s a question I’d like to pose to Type 2’s–how does having this affect you emotionally?
Robert Tusler <http://www.netcomuk.co.uk/~rtusler
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Wow! I feel pretty lucky. We are retired AF, and as soon as I was diagnosed I was sent to the internal med clinic, the Dr I saw there talked to me for an hour, and "We" planned out what "WE" were going to do about this disease. He also decided to get real aggressive with my BP. Made me an appointment for a diabetic class, and dietitian. I go in every three to five weeks. I really feel this kind of treatment from my Dr helped me get to where I am. My first Dr has left and I was a little nervous about how the new Dr would treat me….Surprise !!! He is great too.<G I am really blessed. Jacquie – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – When I was first diagnosed, I was sitting on the doctor’s table for my annual physical. His nurse had stuck my finger, as she always does. He came in, looked at the chart, looked up at me and said, "your blood glucose level is 250. You’re diabetic." He went on from there, prescribed a pill and told me it was basically all up to me, said something about exercising a lot. I don’t know what he said, exactly. I was completely in shock. Ya know, this really pisses me off. How dare a doc do this. Wonder if this is a result of the increase in Type 2s. Do they really think they don’t have to offer support or education. Seems there are many on here that had similar experiences. As far as doctors offering support, good luck. Don’t hold your breath. I’m a social worker with alot of experience working in a hospital…..generally when a patient needs ’support’ or a doctor has a patient with some emotional problem, he picks up that trusty phone and beeps me. It scares the shit out of them and they (in general) don’t want to be bothered. As far as education goes, I saw the same thing happen with my dad. I think his GP diagnosed him with T2 diabetes. They gave him a meter and a bottle of Glipizide and sent him on his merry way. No referrals for education classes or anything. He died last year of asthma with possible diabetic complications only a few years after dx. To be fair, with younger doctors, alot more is being done to educate THEM about bedside manners and dealing with the patient’s psycho/social problems. I know because I’ve taught a few classes for medical students in dealing with patient’s ‘other’ problems that could be influencing medical treatment. So hopefully, I think the tide is turning with younger doctors and we’ll be seeing alot of more emphasis on education and treating the patient’s "whole" person……medical, social and psychological problems. Beanie Type 1 Diag 10/98 (Humulin H and NPH)
Response:
Hi, I’m a new poster. I have type two and was diagnosed in June. I weighed 280 pounds, my BP was out of control, I had no energy. Being diagnosed was a wake up call for me. I have so far lost 65 pounds, my last BP was 115/65 with the help of metiformin my bg is between 85 and 95. I feel great, and like Alan finally feel in control of my life. Oh yeah and my last A1c was 5.1. Jacquie – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Here’s a question I’d like to pose to Type 2’s–how does having this affect you emotionally? In ways I never expected. Since beginning to get the disease under control, I feel optimistic about the future like I never have before. I enjoy my wife and kids more, and feel like I have some say in my fate. This may be a side effect of feeling so much better now that I am not actively poisoning myself at every meal. My eyesight has improved, my sex life is back, I can sleep through the night and get through a day at work without thinking I am going to collapse at any moment. Not to say I’m not aware that I could get hit by a truck tomorrow, but in an odd way diabetes has given me a sense of purpose, and a feeling that the work I’ve done to get my BG under control has been worth it. I’m far from ashamed or secretive about it; I find the entire experience endlessly fascinating. I am amazed by how little I knew about a disease my mother had for most of the time I knew her. I am hopeful that further advances will make it even easier to live with this disease, and I am grateful to have developed it at a time when science has learned so much and made so many choices and treatments available. I’m also very grateful for this group, for the information and support I’ve received here. It’s an honour to know you all in this way. That’s my emotional two cents. Alan "Now is all we have." Delenn, "Babylon 5" To reply in E-Mail, remove SPAMSUCKS from my address.
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One wonders whether we would eat better if broccoli and squash and carrots and apples had the same size advertising budget as Burger King. Probably not. Whoppers and Big Macs taste better than that stuff, and somehow I don’t think "Ronald McCauliflower" would work well as an advertising gimic
They do? Bullsh*t. It’s just what you are used to. BTW, a report here in the USA reported that Americans are eating significantly more vegetables than they did ten years ago (I’ll try to find the cite). Unfortunately, almost all of the increase is deep-fried, especially potatos (french fries), or cooked in fat (potato chips). Jude — Crouch Enterprises – Telecom, Internet & Unix Consulting Oak Park, IL 708-848-0134 URL: http://www.pobox.com/~jcrouch
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One wonders whether we would eat better if broccoli and squash and carrots and apples had the same size advertising budget as Burger King. Probably not. Whoppers and Big Macs taste better than that stuff, and somehow I don’t think "Ronald McCauliflower" would work well as an advertising gimic
Call me crazy, but even as a reformed McDonald’s addict, I think apples and squash taste better than Big Macs. They might not be as desirable and obsessable, but strictly for what they do to the taste buds, I have to go with the health food here. Maybe I AM eating better… Alan "Now is all we have." Delenn, "Babylon 5" To reply in E-Mail, remove SPAMSUCKS from my address.
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The way I treat this problem is buy reading asking questions and finding others in the same situation as myself and talking to them about there experences. As far as doctors are concerened I think that when I was diaganosed I would not have remembered anything he told me right then and there any way. Off course this attidude could also stem from the fact that I treat doctors as a consultant to my health not the final word.Finally I think that if we had a doctor we didn’t like I would try to find another that works better with you. Mike Norris Jr. Just My .02$worth
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When I was first diagnosed, I was sitting on the doctor’s table for my annual physical. His nurse had stuck my finger, as she always does. He came in, looked at the chart, looked up at me and said, "your blood glucose level is 250. You’re diabetic." He went on from there, prescribed a pill and told me it was basically all up to me, said something about exercising a lot. I don’t know what he said, exactly. I was completely in shock.
Ya know, this really pisses me off. How dare a doc do this. Wonder if this is a result of the increase in Type 2s. Do they really think they don’t have to offer support or education. Seems there are many on here that had similar experiences. I was sure that it was my just punishment from God, <snip , for just being plain ole BAD. <snip No one seemed to either understand or care.
<snip This guilt thing is really pissing me off. It seems that when the docs can’t find a certain page in a certain book that describes exactly what you are experiencing, it has to be your fault. <snip So I decided to just not be a diabetic any more. I know that sounds stupid,
Nope, doesn’t sound stupid to me. I did it. But I just quit eating. Not a healthy thing to do either. Didn’t work either. And I didn’t last very long. <snip Right now, I’m just angry and sad and upset, but mostly, I guess, furious. I guess that’s coming across in a lot of my posts lately, but mostly I’m just furious and frustrated. And scared, also
Seems that diabetics live a lifetime of scared. Ole Ms America and her wonderful outlook. I feel that she is giving a good heads up to people to be aware. But she is also ignoring the feelings that go with it. And one of the biggest feelings is the fright. Which feeds the anger and frustration. And everyone here accepts that we have it. Otherwise, none of us could cope for longer than a day or week. But when I listen to you Type 1’s talk about balancing this against that, and grams of CHO (took me a while to even figure out what that WAS), and boluses, and Human vs. humalog vs. animal, and R and hypos, and skim milk and all that, it scares the shit out of me.
<snip You know, it might appear from that side of the fence that there is so much to worry about. And, of course, there is. But don’t you think you have just as much sh*t to deal with now? I think what you are seeing is that YMMV issue. Just as some Type 2s feel that low carb is great, and others feel it is OK, and others don’t feel. It is the same type of issues that you are describing in this paragraph. We, each of us, are dealing with what we can. Some on here preach a bit louder than others, but it all comes down to the same thing. We are all scared. We are all angry. We are all frustrated. And we, each of us, use our coping mechanisms as best we can. Some of us come across as being sarcastic (me, I’m afraid) because that is my type of humor. Others come across as preaching because that is what we need to hang on for today. And others feel the need to nit-pick. Because we CANNOT dwell on what might happen. Because we are afraid. (If you note how many "I hope" lines are added to a lot of posts.) Chin up, Wendy. We all understand where you are. Most of us have been there and will return there. We will all still be here when you are not an argument waiting to happen. (This is meant in a good sense. Accepting where you are and acknowledging your right to be there.) And we will all still love ya. Hang in there, girl. Judy – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – That’s how I feel, at least right now. Catch me in a week, and it may be totally different. I’m committed to working it out somehow. But at this particular moment, I’m not sure how it’s gonna look.
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In 1987 a man I had been involved with for a long time died from complications (he was about 10yrs older than me). My father died in ‘68 at age 57 from the same thing. In the mid ’80s I was finishing my degree changing careers to be a therapist. A close friend was a psychologist & we were going to be partners. In ‘87 I came down with severe bronchitis, then pleurisy. Never really recovered. In ‘89 I was sitting on the table in a dr’s office who had treated me before but not for awhile (insurance changes) when he walked in holding my file and said "how long have you been a diabetic?" I don’t remember what he said after that (figured well, that’s it) but I ended up in the hospital several days later hypo from the high dose of glyburide he put me on and for the next 2 yrs had severe panic attacks. In ‘91 dx’d with severe fibromyalgia & osteoarthritis. In ‘92 ended up with osteomyelitis after having a toenail removed (worst pain I ever had next to labor). In ‘94 angioplasty in my left iliac artery (stent inserted). In ‘95 & ‘96 surgery for early stage bladder cancer. I’m on 10 different meds per day, many I take several times, including vicodin for severe chronic pain. I can walk down steps but much difficulty coming up. I fatigue very easily & nap every day. The degree I worked so hard for after raising 3 kids on my own since divorce in ‘72 now goes unused; I had to go on SSDI in ‘89. I can’t exercise enough to keep the bg’s low, I’ve lost weight (75 lbs total) over the last years but still fighting a losing battle. My muscles are deteriorating even though I stretch every day & walk slowly on my treadmill. I can’t sit, stand, walk or even lay down in one position for more than 15 minutes without pain. I can’t lift my 23 mo granddaughter. The money from my SSDI settlement is gone. The person who’s been helping me financially and emotionally is fading out of my life. My kids have their own struggles. I’m in my early 50’s. I got an $8/mo raise in SS for 1999; my HMO doubled my copay on rx’s from $12 to $24/per. I worked hard all my life and am now stuck with a crummy health policy that hasn’t even given me a referral to a diabetes dr or rheumatologist in 2 yrs. Since I had to stop working I’ve lost many friends; when you don’t feel good most of the time people are sympathetic at first but get tired of excuses after awhile. I don’t have a purpose in my life; I can’t make plans for the future. I’ve contemplated suicide many times but there are still things I enjoy and I want to see my grandchildren grow up. I do the best I can but so much energy is spent thinking about what to eat (or Not), how to survive (or Not), how to reduce the pain (temporarily), which pill do I take now, there’s not much left for joy. I hate the holidays because so much of the festivities involve food. I want to eat turkey and stuffing and mashed potatoes and a roll AND dessert!!! like everyone else! And I want to feel good enough after all the preparations to actually enjoy the day. I know I probably was destined to get diabetes since my father had it, but all the rest is a mystery. I have my theories and even my dr wonders what I was exposed to, but nothing I’ll ever be able to prove. And with all of it, I think that’s what makes me the most angry; I want to know what totally screwed up my immune system. No offense to anyone, but as terrible as this disease is, I think I might have had a fighting chance if I hadn’t come down with all the rest. And I also know I will stay depressed for a day or two, and then get angry, and then get up and do some exercises and talk on the phone and go for a drive and listen to music and survive for another day. Oh yeah, BTW, Happy New Year. Ginny A child of the ’60s, a believer in peace and equality, striving to become a human being.
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One wonders whether we would eat better if broccoli and squash and carrots and apples had the same size advertising budget as Burger King.
Probably not. Whoppers and Big Macs taste better than that stuff, and somehow I don’t think "Ronald McCauliflower" would work well as an advertising gimic
(shoot me. snide comments are my emotional defense mechanism
)
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Wendy started a thread a few days ago called "out of control", which had questions in it pertaining to Type 1’s…does the pump help (bad) control or MDI, etc (I don’t remember all the specifics she brought up). Here’s a question I’d like to pose to Type 2’s–how does having this affect you emotionally? I know how you feel about Dr Bernstein and low-carbs. But I think there’s more to it than that. Obviously, you’re
<snip a moment. How do really *feel* about it? That’s obviously something I don’t understand from my perspective. Anyone care to enlighten me? This might help us "types" understand where each other is coming from.
Good question, Jennifer. I had been feeling poorly for quite some time before I was diagnosed, suffering from a lot of little ailments that some try to dismiss as "getting older" (i.e., "middle-aged" spread, achy joints, lack of focus and concentration, etc.). I’d also had a thyroid problem that was successfully treated, but that treatment didn’t touch the achy joints, which were getting to be a problem because they were limiting my ability to maintain an exercise program (which was affecting my weight and my concentration). So, when I was diagnosed with diabetes, I was relieved to know that there really *was* something wrong and that it was something I could do something about relatively easily and not something I would have to just learn to live with. (Obviously, I have to live with the diabetes, but if I do the right things, I’ll be in good control; living with other conditions, on the other hand, might involve hard choices between living in pain or living with side effects of medication that only partially controls the pain.) I’m healthier than I have been in a good long time. When I went hiking with friends this summer, they noticed that I had not just a lot more stamina but also a lot more confidence on the trail. All I could tell was that I didn’t have to stop and rest (or take pictures) nearly as often, but they could see some more subtle differences as well. Alice F
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Here’s a question I’d like to pose to Type 2’s–how does having this affect you emotionally? I know how you feel about Dr Bernstein and low-carbs. But I think there’s more to it than that.
Thanks for asking, Jennifer. Let me just add that I suspect you do NOT know how "we" feel about Dr. Bernstein and low-carbs. You know about some people’s ideas, but there are entirely too many of us, and we are entirely too diverse, for you to know how "we" feel. When I was first diagnosed, I was sitting on the doctor’s table for my annual physical. His nurse had stuck my finger, as she always does. He came in, looked at the chart, looked up at me and said, "your blood glucose level is 250. You’re diabetic." He went on from there, prescribed a pill and told me it was basically all up to me, said something about exercising a lot. I don’t know what he said, exactly. I was completely in shock. I remained in shock for, I think, a couple of years. He HAD to be wrong; not ME! And secretly, I was sure that it was my just punishment from God, for being fat, for eating whatever I wanted, for just being plain ole BAD. I read the books; none of them made any sense. I suspect that I was hyperinsulinemic because prior to diagnosis, I would have occasional hypos if I went for a while without eating. I had gained something like 80 pounds in a year — probably a result of hyperinsulinemia itself and also the resultant constant hunger. But I just figured I was fat. So when I went on the glyburide, I expected things to get better, only they got worse. I was hungry ALL the time, and though I tried desperately to stay on the diet the dietitician prescribed for me, I would experience constant hypos (at least one a day, sometimes more), which required me to eat. I dieted rigorously and gained weight. I was practically passing out all the time. No one seemed to either understand or care. My doctor kept lowering my dosage, but basically he offered me NO other options than the ones I had — pills, weight gain, hypos. The doctor, the dieticians, looked at me like I was crazy. It seemed that I had hit a wall. So I decided to just not be a diabetic any more. I know that sounds stupid, but I just couldn’t deal with it, so some part of me decided that it just wasn’t there. I stopped going to the doctor, ate whatever I wanted, continued to exercise. I was chronically tired, getting up two and three times a night to pee, developing hideous yeast infections all over my body, but I didn’t put anything together. Then one day I was in the supermarket, felt a sharp pain in my head and suddenly I couldn’t see out of my left eye. Thought maybe I should go to an opthalmologist. The pain and (then temporary) blindness was just an "ocular migraine," but she did note that the blood vessels in my left eye were completely gone, shot, stripped. The optic nerve was pretty much dead too. She sent me to my PCP for a round of tests; he discovered a cardiac arrhythmia. The cardiologist put me on coumadin for that, which caused my eye to bleed, which destroyed my eyesight permanently. Blah blah blah. Long, tragic story. My PCP was upset, said that this was the result of uncontrolled sugars. On the glyburide again. Same old story. I was in despair, gave up totally. Decided that I would die young and that was that, because I sure as hell wasn’t going to take those effing drugs any more. I seriously and literally chose to die. Then I read "Dr. Atkins’ New Diet Revolution" and decided to give it a shot. What the hell — I was killing myself anyway. Wonder of wonders, I lost weight IMMEDIATELY, my bgs plummeted within a couple of weeks to normal levels, where they STAYED, even after a meal, and I felt better than I had in years. I had lots of energy, my gas and intestinal distress problems disappeared, I wasn’t hungry any more. It truly was a salvation. At least, life started to get a little more hopeful. I thought maybe I could live after all, a life that was bearable. My doctor, my glaucoma specialist, my cardiologist, all were thrilled with the progress I made. As my doctor said (laughing), "You’re in great shape, given the shape you’re in." That lasted about a year, but I think the thing that’s hardest about diabetes is that you bring into the experience the person you were before you got diabetes, no matter what age. If you’re a kid, well, kids love sweet stuff, so if you’re deprived of that, it’s a bummer. If you’re an adult with a full-blown never-quite-dealt-with eating disorder, you bring that with you too, and that’s what I brought. Lots of feelings of deprivation and sadness and loss over not being able to eat spaghetti (I lived on it for one year in my twenties) or brownies or bagels and cream cheese any more. Maybe those "lowfat" people are right, I thought. Maybe I SHOULD be eating another way. Let me try. of course, delusion meets emotional need, meets "being reasonable," and the whole thing is a tangle. Right now, that’s where I am, in a total tangle. If I maintain a very low carbohydrate diet — under 50 grams a day — I can maintain good bgs. If I don’t, I can’t — that simple. Yeah, I could take medications, but I’m already on enough medications to choke a horse, and they all interact with each other in subtle ways. I’m already going twice a month for PT tests for my blood thinner; how will glucophage or whatever interact with THAT? I already feel like a ticking bomb. I have arthritis; am in awful pain frequently, which cuts into my exercise, which effects my cardiovascular health and my bgs. But I can’t take aspirin or even too much tylenol, because it effects my blood thinner. The blood thinner makes my eye bleed, pretty much guaranteeing that I’ll never get the sight back in that eye, but if I don’t take it, there’s a stroke to contend with. ALL OF WHICH depend on my keeping good bgs. But I WANT to eat the other stuff; I WANT to be "normal." Right now, I’m just angry and sad and upset, but mostly, I guess, furious. I guess that’s coming across in a lot of my posts lately, but mostly I’m just furious and frustrated. And scared, also. Right now, as I struggle (pretty much unsuccessfully) to keep my carb level down, my bgs continue to climb. I have a doctor’s appointment next week. I’m afraid he’ll want me on meds or worse, on insulin. I am scared to death of going on insulin, not because of the shots, but because of the need for discipline and control, which I have so little of. If you told me look, you’ll need twelve shots a day, every two hours, and then you don’t have to think about it, I’d say cool, I can do that. But when I listen to you Type 1’s talk about balancing this against that, and grams of CHO (took me a while to even figure out what that WAS), and boluses, and Human vs. humalog vs. animal, and R and hypos, and skim milk and all that, it scares the shit out of me. I’m a mother, and one of my children has fairly serious medical problems that need to be dealt with; the other has minor problems. I work full time. I can barely keep my head above water to keep from drowning as it is. I feel like if I don’t get a grip on things now, if I have to go the insulin route, I’ll drown for sure. Everything is panic and despair and confusion. That’s how I feel, at least right now. Catch me in a week, and it may be totally different. I’m committed to working it out somehow. But at this particular moment, I’m not sure how it’s gonna look.
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Well, Jennifer, of course I felt "different," ashamed, and so on growing up, it just wasn’t connected to diabetes. There are other issues that produce those feelings in a lot of kids. About T2 (dx 6 years ago), first scared, angry. Then invisible and discounted (not <real [insulin-injecting] diabetes], failed because the first attempt at controlling with diet and exercise didn’t work. Relieved when a drug did work. Scared again when I had an emergency angioplasty (wondering now whether being on a sulfonylurea brought it on with hyperinsulinemia), calling old friends I wanted to talk to before I died from the hospital, drugged out of my gourd because the nitro they gave me just about took my head off and nothing else they gave me touched the pain, just made me not care about it. The usual, mixed pleasure, annoyance, relief when coworkers and friends actually think about what’s good or not for me to eat when there’s an office "do." I’ve lived most of my life as an outsider, as "not normal," for any number of reasons. In some ways, this is just one more. I am shocked at what "normal" Americans eat, as shown on TV. One wonders whether we would eat better if broccoli and squash and carrots and apples had the same size advertising budget as Burger King. My sense of shock shows me how outside the mainstream I am. It’s a preoccupation, constant. I carry energy bars in the car, in my overnight bag (I’m away a couple of nights a week), in some of my jacket pockets. I may not go severely hypo, but I’ve been hypo enough to not be able to form words or finish sentences or focus on the task at hand (fortunately all of those events occurred at home or in my workplace, not in my car). The feeling of terror that sometimes accompanies the hypo, that I’m going to die if I don’t eat something RIGHT NOW, makes me want to ensure that I never have another. At the same time, I feel guilty about overtreating minor lows, never exercising enough, eating chocolate (my drug of choice). It’s always in the back of my mind: what time is it, how long since I last ate, what did I eat, will it last? should I snack, should I test, oops, forgot to test, eat anyway, test after, walk at lunch, can’t walk, have to finish this job, crap, there goes my exercise for today, what time is it, when did I eat last, should I have a whole meal, even though I don’t feel hungry? last time I ate light at dinner, woke up high and with a hypo hangover headache, maybe just a few crackers, what are these people thinking about me, they always seem to see me eating something, they don’t believe I’m diabetic I bet, what time is it, how come I feel so spacey, maybe I should test now. Am I gonna have enough strips left for the rest of the month if I test 6 times today? Weekends at home are not so worrisome: if I’m cranky, my spouse tells me to eat something. There’s plenty of yardwork for exercise. My time and attention are my own. My grandmother had diabetes and died of its complications. I’m an editor and fear retinopathy, glaucoma, cataracts. I’m figuring that I will probably die before I get a chance to retire, so I take all the time off to which I am entitled and enjoy my life as much as I can NOW. Sorry so long — you asked. BTW, you DO NOT know how I feel about Bernstein and low-carbing (unless you were addressing this thread solely to those engaged in the low-carb flamewars). Don’t assume that every type 2 feels the same. WE DON’T, any more than all T1s feel the same about MDI or beef insulin, or Humalog. — Nanuq of the North Remove grzl to send email: I’m only a grizzly before (decaf) coffee! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Wendy started a thread a few days ago called "out of control", which had questions in it pertaining to Type 1’s…does the pump help (bad) control or MDI, etc (I don’t remember all the specifics she brought up). Here’s a question I’d like to pose to Type 2’s–how does having this affect you emotionally? I know how you feel about Dr Bernstein and low-carbs. But I think there’s more to it than that. Obviously, you’re not going to have the same feelings I had growing up as a teenage Type 1 with feeling different, ashamed, trying to cover it up, etc. You generally get Type 2 "older" and from what I gather, most 2’s on here are 30 or 40+ in age. I, of course, was living with my parents when I was diagnosed at 12. That adds another perspective to my Type 1 as I watched my parents worry, cry, and wonder if there was any hope for their daughter to live a normal(?) life. But I’m curious to see the "emotional" side of Type 2. Us Type 1’s will talk about it over and over. Like I said, forget Bernstein and eating low-carb 24 hrs a day for a moment. How do really *feel* about it? That’s obviously something I don’t understand from my perspective. Anyone care to enlighten me? This might help us "types" understand where each other is coming from.
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Wendy started a thread a few days ago called "out of control", which had questions in it pertaining to Type 1’s…does the pump help (bad) control or MDI, etc (I don’t remember all the specifics she brought up). Here’s a question I’d like to pose to Type 2’s–how does having this affect you emotionally? I know how you feel about Dr Bernstein and low-carbs. But I think there’s more to it than that. Obviously, you’re not going to have the same feelings I had growing up as a teenage Type 1 with feeling different, ashamed, trying to cover it up, etc. You generally get Type 2 "older" and from what I gather, most 2’s on here are 30 or 40+ in age. I, of course, was living with my parents when I was diagnosed at 12. That adds another perspective to my Type 1 as I watched my parents worry, cry, and wonder if there was any hope for their daughter to live a normal(?) life. But I’m curious to see the "emotional" side of Type 2. Us Type 1’s will talk about it over and over. Like I said, forget Bernstein and eating low-carb 24 hrs a day for a moment. How do really *feel* about it? That’s obviously something I don’t understand from my perspective. Anyone care to enlighten me? This might help us "types" understand where each other is coming from. Jennifer Type 1, 20 yrs, dx’d at 12
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Here’s a question I’d like to pose to Type 2’s–how does having this affect you emotionally?
Hmmmm… you know, I’d rather eat an candy basket filled with artificial chocolate (yeeeee-uck) then describe my own emotions, but whynot, wudafug, here goes… I suspect the primary emotion was anger. Anger that this happened to me. Anger at me for what stupid stuff I might have done to bring this on or at least rush it along. Anger that I have to diet an exercise not so I feel better or so I can see how women might check me out while I’m walking past them, but because my health and lifespan depend on it (I know, it always did, but not more so). And then there’s fear. Fear that no matter what I do, my life may be shorter than I’d hoped it would be. Fear that life’s little bodily annoyances may be the beggining of something more insicidous. Are my eyes blurry this morning because I was staring at my computer screen for hours, or is it beggining retinopathy? Is that numbnes in my leg because of how I was sitting, or is it something worse. So, no, no one’s making fun of us, or trying to use the Hershey Bar M.O. to kill us. But we have our own issues, our own "things in the picnic basket". Enough from me. I’m going back to lurking/occasional snide responses mode….
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Here’s a question I’d like to pose to Type 2’s–how does having this affect you emotionally?
In ways I never expected. Since beginning to get the disease under control, I feel optimistic about the future like I never have before. I enjoy my wife and kids more, and feel like I have some say in my fate. This may be a side effect of feeling so much better now that I am not actively poisoning myself at every meal. My eyesight has improved, my sex life is back, I can sleep through the night and get through a day at work without thinking I am going to collapse at any moment. Not to say I’m not aware that I could get hit by a truck tomorrow, but in an odd way diabetes has given me a sense of purpose, and a feeling that the work I’ve done to get my BG under control has been worth it. I’m far from ashamed or secretive about it; I find the entire experience endlessly fascinating. I am amazed by how little I knew about a disease my mother had for most of the time I knew her. I am hopeful that further advances will make it even easier to live with this disease, and I am grateful to have developed it at a time when science has learned so much and made so many choices and treatments available. I’m also very grateful for this group, for the information and support I’ve received here. It’s an honour to know you all in this way. That’s my emotional two cents. Alan "Now is all we have." Delenn, "Babylon 5" To reply in E-Mail, remove SPAMSUCKS from my address.
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